Size Guide
(a.k.a. "Don't Blame Us, Blame Your Tape Measure")
We know—sizes are weird. That's why we put the numbers here instead of trusting your "I'm totally still a medium" self-assessment. Grab a shirt you like, measure it flat, and compare:
Size Chart
| Size | Chest (in) | Length (in) | Translation |
|---|---|---|---|
| S | 18–19 | 28 | For people who still have a metabolism. |
| M | 20–21 | 29 | The "average American" size. |
| L | 22–23 | 30 | Beer, burgers, and bravado. |
| XL | 24–25 | 31 | "It's not me, it's the dryer." |
| 2XL | 26–27 | 32 | Proudly taking up more space. |
| 3XL | 28–29 | 33 | Like a walking billboard (in a good way). |
How to Measure
Chest: Measure across the chest from armpit to armpit, laying the shirt flat.
Length: Measure from the top of the shoulder to the bottom hem.
Pro Tip: When in doubt, size up. Nobody ever complained about a shirt being too comfortable.
Still Confused?
Questions about sizing? Hit us up at support@trumpteez.ai
Last updated: October 1, 2025